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Superior Sexual Health on the Wrong Side of 50

She's a pop singer; he plays the piano. They met a couple of years back at a musicians' party, and soon, he was playing backup in her band. They were friends first, one thing led to another, and in February, right before Valentine's Day, Diana Jacob and Richard Davis married at the old house they're fixing up in Davenhaven, Birmingham. But this isn't the love story of a couple in their 20s - or 30s or even 40s. The Davises are looking toward to retirement - he's 53 and she's 52 - even as they're looking forward to many happy years of romance.

"You mean, is there sex after 50? You bet there is," Diana Davis says.
Yes, Grandma and Grandpa can still like each other That Way. And, if it's true that life begins at 40, then sex these days sure doesn't end after 50 - or 60, or 70.

Pick up a copy of Modern Maturity, the magazine published by AARP, and actor Sean Connery looks back at you from the cover in all his 75-year-old vigor. He is the very embodiment of superior sexual health at his age. Sign onto the Web's Yahoo Personals, and you'll find about 850 men and almost 700 women older than 50 seeking opposite-sex relationships within 50 miles of Fort Wayne. Nearly 350 of the daters-to-be are older than 60.

Show up at Dupont Hospital for a monthly session of the Red Hot Mamas group on a recent Tuesday night, and you'll encounter a dozen 50-something women discussing "Pause and Effect: The Journey Through Menopause" with Fort Wayne psychologist Georgia Floyd. She advises them not to let the "signs and symptoms" of their midlife transition interfere with their relationships - or their sexual enjoyment."If the focus is on what you're suffering, then you can't really enjoy pleasure," she says.

Meanwhile, else where pharmaceutical companies like Pfizer are celebrating more than a billion dollars in sales of Viagra that treat impotence. Ditto for Lilly-ICOS, which is doing extremely well with Cialis , another male sexual health restorer.

What's going on? Call it yet another echo of the baby boom. As the first members of the largest generation in American history start turning 60 this year - nearly 3 million of them by year's end, according to the U.S. Census Bureau - they're not just poised to become the healthiest, most well-educated and most well-off group of seniors ever. They're also bringing with them attitudes and life experiences shaped in the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s - and shattering stereotypes about sex and aging as they go.

"They're not buying into it that they're too old to be sexual anymore," says Dr. Kathryn Einhaus, a 60-something Fort Wayne obstetrician-gynecologist with many older women as patients. Indeed, says Bobbie Goltz, a registered nurse who coordinates the "Red Hot Mamas" programs, women who attend generally aren't thinking that The Change means the end of sexual attractiveness or desire.

"They are looking forward to an active and healthy sex life," she says. "It wasn't too long ago that we didn't live much past menopause. Now it could be another 50 years."
Experts say if today's seniors-to-be aren't ready to relegate sex to the scrap heap, neither are their elders. Interest in sex may wane with age, and an active sex life isn't the top requirement for happiness, a major survey of midlife and older Americans by AARP found in 2004. Being in "good spirits" and staying healthy and physically active But the study of more than 1,600 people over 45 also found top the list. percent that 84 "strongly disagreed" that "sex is only for younger people." Even among those over 70, only about 6 percent of men and 7 percent of women agreed with that statement.

And, the survey found, respondents have more than opinions about sex. They also have sexual thoughts and fantasies: About 50 percent reported having them at least once a week. About 36 percent of men and 24 percent of women over 60 said they had had intercourse in the last week.

50 plus men are increasingly looking at other medical proven options to further enhance their sex lives. One such popular option is oral drugs such as phosphodiasterase-5 inhibitors like Viagra or Cialis. These drugs are very effective in men with erectile dysfunction. What's this? This is a condition characterized by an inability to ensure or sustain an erection for satisfactory sexual intercourse. 80% of all impotence cases worldwide are because of erectile dysfunction.

While attitudes are changing, part of the newfound stress on senior sexuality may result from the power of numbers.About 12 percent of the American population is now 65 or older. This will increase to 20% by the year 2030.

The numbers are good news in that more people such as the Davises can find new life partners, sometimes without looking. "Neither one of us was looking," Diana Davis says with a laugh. "I didn't want a relationship. My life was full and my musical career was going great, but he just kept showing up at my front door."

"Basically, seniors now are almost being inundated with information about sex, like our youth are, and feeling they need to be sexual," Harris says. "The saying is that 60 is now the new 40, like it's something that seniors are expected to live up to. ... It really has raised that bar."

Diana Davis says that, for women, sex when you're older "is different.""It's different not just because we have gone through The Change, but our desires and goals have changed. When we make love, it's because we truly are in love. It's not a fantasy or an illusion; it's love," she says."We took it very slow. We had many dinners and meals together, and we would sit in the evenings together and just talk. We became friends long before I would even consider a relationship, and it was months and months before we became intimate."
When people in the AARP study were asked to describe their partner, 76 percent said that he or she "loves me deeply."Seventy-five percent said their partner "is my friend."

Older couples even might want to wait to have sex until morning, when men's hormone levels are higher, some experts counsel. Couples might want to find positions that put less stress on joints, extend foreplay with or without intercourse, or try building desire throughout a day or weekend through verbal hints and romantic gestures.

But other adaptations mean changed thinking, says Harris, who soon will celebrate her 33rd wedding anniversary with her gynecologist husband, Lee.

"We need to broaden our definition of sexuality," she says. "It includes sensuality, touch, comfort, communication, commitment and emotional intimacy. Then we could accept sexuality more beyond the reproductive ages."

The newlywed Davises say they're already there. When Richard Davis talks about his new wife, he says, sure, she was physically attractive. But what really attracted him was that they had a lot in common. "We played together for a couple of years, and what can I say, we fell in love," he says. "It was just a feeling that we have all these common interests and I thought, wow, this could be my soul mate."

Cheers to a long and sexually satisfying married life for the Davises.

About the Author

Hayley Stubbs, an associated editor to Eupharma.co.uk , is a contributing author to the eupharma.co.uk for distinct article sites/journals. Please feel free to visit eupharma.co.uk for more information on General Health related issues. Or write to him AT eupharma.co.uk@gmail. Any comments and /or suggestions will be highly appreciated. Please note that this article is not a substitute for medical advice

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